The Light gladly welcomes the 27th segment
As the remnant of the last cycle completely fades.
The soul smiles with the waxing crescent
In humble gratitude it wades.
Thankful
November 5th, 2008Underwater
October 18th, 2008I am back in the Philippines again but it looked eerily different. It was the same stifling hot weather, yet there were more palm trees in the area and the buildings resembled the low-structured types here in the suburbs of California.
I was with my sister and family when the first tidal wave hit. Everything in the area was submerged in flood water in less than 10 minutes – how I am able to tell the clock time in my dreams is still unknown to me. I found myself in a white van floating in the flooded streets with my sister, other family members and a few friends who I can no longer recall. The floating van came finally to a halt on the roof of a building with four remaining pillars protruding from the water.
We ventured out of the vehicle and examined what was left of the city. When I reached the top of one of the pillars, I saw another huge wave coming. I felt slightly relieved to see that my family was on the top of the highest pillar – each one except for my sister. I was terrified and climbed down as fast as I could so I could reach her. I remember myself yelling to her to grab my hand so I could pull her up. She’s a tad on the heavy side so she kept yelling back that she couldn’t do it. Tears were streaming down my eyes as I climbed lower to get her. I grabbed her hand seconds before the water swallowed both of us.
I woke myself up as soon as I realized that I was having a dream and I had been holding my breath. Hours later, I confirmed in our chat session that she has been over her head with work-related issues.
A sigh of relief
October 13th, 2008After five weeks of grueling coursework, I finally finished my online course with a decent grade. I have only recently discovered the meaning of what I am doing and so it is only now that I am exerting effort in academics. After reading Tolle’s The Power of Now, it dawned on me that I had resisted every minute of my college life which resulted in an existential-angst-filled life. It is not easy to let go of my CAMP experience – it was more upsetting than pleasant. Nonetheless, I am thankful for it. I am undergoing the process of releasing the heavy mental and emotional loads that I have carried since then and surrendering to being a speech pathologist. I know the time of complete acceptance will come when I am ready.
RIP
September 22nd, 2008Today, a number of people was starkly reminded how short life is. This post is dedicated to one of our fourth grade students who passed away due to a tragic vehicular accident.
May his soul rest in peace, and his family find peace and forgiveness within their hearts, and regain the strength and courage to move on.
We often forget how impromptu death can be. Without warning, it knocks at your doorstep; not taking into account your age, social status or whatsoever. All of a sudden, everything in this world of forms loses ground and transgresses into the world of the formless. I am aware that it is cliche to say “live life to its fullest,” but often we take it for granted until death preys upon a young soul and we are again reminded.
Moon Phases
July 25th, 2008The full moon is coming,
To tail the Capricorn moon.
Let misunderstandings sleep.
Let the angst subside.
Forgive, accept and heal.
It must not be forgot;
Family is wrought by blood.
confused
July 10th, 2008One word, one word from that certain person is all it takes to flood a tranquil night with a cornucopia of positive and negative emotions.
What exactly do you want from me? Grow up and make up your mind. I don’t want to go through that rollercoaster of unanswered questions again.
But in the end, love supersedes all and I am thankful that I am still remembered.
musings under a waning crescent moon
July 6th, 2008Some friendships are similar to how a child handles his or her toys. When it’s new, it is given constant time and attention in order to maintain its pristine state. Once it reaches over saturation, it’s left in a state of moribundity on the shelf and replaced with another, or whichever comes first. In the same manner, that new object is given the same amount of energy and time, and once it has served its purpose, it will be placed on the shelf with the others.
Just like with friends, you are well aware that they will always be there – on that shelf – no matter what happens. They become part of the shelf. Just there. Sitting silently – A spectator to the events around it. More often than not, you forget that it still needs care – not as needy as before, but nonetheless, it still needs attention. Otherwise, it will deteriorate. You think that because you have moved on, your friend has moved on as well - in a direction and pace parallel to yours. The gap subsequently widens until it reaches breaking point. Attempts to repair the friendship will be made, but most of the time, it will never be like it was before.
back to work
June 29th, 2008I can’t believe that two weeks has passed already. My life as a professional bum is over! Nonetheless, I did manage to accomplish some very important tasks: move to a new and better apartment, fix things in the new apartment, set-up my roomie’s cable TV and phone line, and learn a new recipe (not that I really follow it - it’s more fun to express reckless impulsiveness in the kitchen).
On the not-so-bright side of the spectrum, I have to say I am drained to the core with the Mummy’s illness. While I have completely accepted that my mother has cancer, I find it hard to accept that she is giving up. Theoretically speaking, it isn’t fatal and it responds very well to treatment. So, I find it unacceptable that she is giving up on chemotherapy. It is hard enough being far from home at a time like this, but hearing her say, “I don’t want to do the chemo anymore” is just devastating. It’s tough to convince her to push through with it and I am fully aware that the decision is still hers. But, it just seems so unfair.
c’est fait.
June 14th, 2008Another soul let go.
Another task completed.
Life is short.
I am thankful for what was and what will be.
handheld steamer 101
May 13th, 2008I burned myself: first degree burn on the left hand and second degree burns on the right thigh. Oh what fun.